Dissonant Recognition.
They invite you...
You go as yourself
and clumsily
step on a toe
utter the wrong phrase
or spill tea.
They don't invite you.
You stay at home
thinking, painting pictures,
or watching TV.
They invite you
and you go as someone else.
Purring conversation
slides around and avoids
whatever eats people
who are alone with their thoughts.
They invite you again
but everybody
is slightly ashamed
of the repeated falsehood,
things become a trifle dull.
They don't invite you
but you go anyway
and perhaps express misgivings
or utter the right phrase
perhaps too clumsily...
You walk the cold biting streets
and wonder
why they didn't invite you
to stay
on that long and lonely
winter's night.
(1984)
Evolution
and afterwards
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